Too Sexy

"I don't know what to write about."
"Write about sexiness." 
"What about it."
"What makes someone sexy." 
"Oooh."

I'm not conventional in my ideas about sexiness. I'm human in that I'm attracted to aesthetics. I can appreciate art and color and composition and all of those things combine to make something attractive. But sexiness... sexiness is something completely different.

A lot of people will say that it's the curve of the hip, the dip or curves of the neck, the sensitive spot where your hip meets your panties or the smoothness of a calf. It could be the way the top lip is a bit pouty or how it perfectly matches the bottom lip. It could be the soft hairs that gather at the nape of the neck. People have started to say that intelligence and confidence is sexy and while all these things make perfect sense and are sexy, it doesn't quite touch the true definition for me.

This is what is sexy to me:

If you can weave your words in such a way to grab someone's attention, make someone laugh or cry, explain some complicated emotion or concept with some well placed commas, periods and paragraph structure, you are sexy. If you know how to use words -- and not just by talking a lot, I mean by carefully choosing the words you'll use, almost to the point of manipulation, then you are sexy. You are sexy when you can easily bury someone in your words and nuances, but choose to spare a person's feelings. You are sexy as hell when you can put someone in their place with the fewest words possible.

If you are aware of the space your body takes up and you don't apologize for any of it, then you are sexy. I think it's sexy as hell when people take up space and don't allow anyone into their space without permission. They are not pushovers. They are not apologists. They are present and here and only allow people into their space who are worthy of being there. I think it's sexy when someone is aware of their place in the world and in the universe because when they invite me in I know I'm special. 

If you are sensual you are sexy. If you like touch, kisses, hot showers, great lotion, if your skin is sensitive to touch and appreciative of the right things you are sexy. If you like your head rubbed, can get wet when someone you love touches the back of your hand with the tip of their fingers, delights in the feel of someone's breath against the back of their neck when spooning -- if you can remember what it felt like to almost have sex that one time and it has nothing to do with insertion, then you're sexy as hell to me.

If your eyes tell the truth, you are sexy.

If you smile a lot and each time you smile it raises the temperature in the room by several degrees then you are sexy.

If you can go toe to toe with me in a discussion not just because you can, but because you believe you are right, and can do so without succumbing to weak arguments and silly fallacies or emotional temper tantrums (cuz that's my trick), then you are sexy as fuck.

If you have someone in your family you love and care about and trust and look up to and take care of and don't disrespect you're sexy. If family is important to you even though your family is less than perfect, then you are sexy.

If you remember things I've told you you are sexy. If you keep my secrets you are sexy. If you maintain our privacy in our relationship no matter what, you are sexy.

If you are soft and strong you are sexy.

I think you're hella sexy if you wear glasses, like to read, dress well, smell good and care about your appearance overall.

I think you're more than sexy if you have goals (I didn't say money) and aren't afraid to reach for them.

I think you're sexiest when you sleep comfortably next to me, and sometimes touch me just to let me know you're still there or to remind yourself that I am still there, before going back to sleep.

I think it's sexy if you cook. Or bake. Or Successfully make anything in the kitchen without accident or fires.

There's so much more, but that's the beginning of my list. I'm sure Janelle looks great in a suit and tie. She looks great in her underwear and even better in a white button down or hoodie. But she's sexiest because of all the other things I mentioned. Clothing or body is just aesthetic. Sexy is so much more.

So much more.