- Screw her. I'm done. I can be happy by myself. 4/20/14
- I think I found the one. Only time will tell. 4/30/2014
- I'm in love. I can't believe I finally found her. Thank you Jesus. 5/3/2014
- "Engaged" 5/10/2014
- Shaniqua Jackson Abdul (My ex) called. She sounds good. Looks better. (She sent me tons of pictures -- some partially nude. No biggie -- seen it all before, except that new piercing!) But I'm happy and told her. 5/20/2014
- Now friends with Shaniqua Jackson Abdul. 5/21/2014
- My girl is just gonna have to understand that my ex is my best friend. I don't want her back, but she knows me better than anyone. 5/31/2014
- Married! I'm so happy. So in love. We're already looking into having kids together. 6/3/2014
- I hate love. Biggest mistake I ever made. I can't believe she thought I was cheating, and then went out and cheated on me with her ex. Isn't anyone loyal anymore? 6/4/2014.
Being alone is not a bad thing. Working on yourself isn't a bad thing. I can tell you that in my forty-seven years of life, a blink of an eye in the moment of my life was spent with another person. I'm not proud of that. I would have liked to have been with someone and had a family and been thinking about retiring and traveling and graduations of our children and things by now. But that's not how my life mapped itself out. And while it was in the process of being planned, I went on with my life. Being alone isn't the worst thing in life. Being with yourself and spending time alone prepares you for being with someone else. You have to know who you are before you can be with someone else. If you don't know how you deal with your own temper, how can you teach your partner to? If you don't know what makes you happy, how can you even begin to expect your lover to know? And if you don't know who you are, and what gifts you have to offer, then my guess is that your life is going to pretty much look like my time frame up there times about four for each year of your life.
Why the rush?
Being in a relationship is lovely, don't get me wrong. But it's almost like these days people don't understand that you can have friendships that can give you intimacy as well (albeit a different kind, granted). You can have hobbies that provide you with something to spend your time on. You can join organizations that give you a sense of community. You don't have to find the first available person in which to attach yourself to in order to be validated. You don't need another person to tell you you are amazing or beautiful or desirable. And, if you want me to go there -- you don't even need another person to give you an orgasm. Find some erotica, get yourself a toy and have at it. Because some of the quickie relationships I see going on are not only doing a disservice to you as a person, but a disservice to the other person as well. And for what? A self esteem boost and an orgasm?
Putting myself and my plans onto another person would mean that I have nothing to work on myself. I have books to write, and a 5K to run one day. I always wanted to teach spin classes at a local gym, and I swear one day I will lose the weight I have been trying to lose now since Michael Jackson was alive and black. I'd like to finish my education, maybe. Maybe teach. And then there's the volunteer work I want to do -- mainly tutoring. There's places I want to travel to, and there are many people I want to meet. I do not need to be in a relationship to achieve all these things. For me to moan and cry about not having the perfect partner when I have all these things I can accomplish without the perfect person by my side feels like I'm putting a whole lot of pressure on a stranger to complete me: all of my dreams and all of my hopes and desires wrapped up in a status change.
Again, why the rush?
Love this! Wise, wise words
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading, Lee :)
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